I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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