Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
