It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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