yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
from now on my penis is your penis
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
