But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
