The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize