i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
