Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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