oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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