I must be too annoying 4 u.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
