What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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