I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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