2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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