seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
