I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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