I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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