Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize