If i come over, it means nothing
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize