I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
