I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I would fuck him just for his dog
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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