drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
