I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
