I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
