I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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