if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
