Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
