ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize