I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking