He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
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In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
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A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator