Yo dont text me then not text me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
