I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
did i just pee glitter
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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