I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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