just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
