i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
