tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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