i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
