i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
