I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
