Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
