If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Mom said you looked used
You dont lie about slip and slides
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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