just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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