Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
