Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
