btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
