Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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