he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
