I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
