birth control should be required to get into college
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
