okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
