she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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