Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
