how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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