I'm really into asian looking animals
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
