Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's just like the Real World with babies
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
