So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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