Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
