super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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