You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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