You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
