Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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