you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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