He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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