Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
