I wannas sexs uuuuu
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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